This is my HEARTSTATION.

Walking sweaty and sticky is not attractive.

30 minute’s on treadmill.
191 calories burned. Not bad even though I hate working out.
Trying to get back to doing it at least 3 times a week.
With time I’ll add an hour.
Oh, exercise do I hate YOU.

Not to forget that I know have a blister on the back of my left foot……

I give you my heart hold on, let me sign it your senorita aka your best friend.

I started writing again, out of boredom perhaps. I’m quite depressed. I’ve been depressed for a long time but I hoped for a lot of thing’s to change. It didn’t and now I know it has to be over. It just doesn’t make sense at all. By now I hoped to maybe be living somewhere else. For someone to have a dependable job with normal working hour’s, my daughter to be in school for a few day’s a week, to have another child. All of that is now going to be in the past. I can’t sit and wait around for the thing’s I want to pass me by. I can’t wait for someone else to achieve these goal’s when they don’t even want to.

I gave up a lot. I gave up the year’s I could have spent acting my age, I gave up a lot of my pride by doing what everyone else wanted me too instead of voicing what I wanted. I gave it all up for the happiness I thought I would have. In the end I ended up losing that happiness as well. Living the way I have for the past 3yrs has really taken a toll on me. I feel a lot older than I am physically. I’ve been to the hospital, almost died and have stayed for this so called happiness that is never going to appear where I’m at.

I did it for love. I did it all for love but it left a long time ago and I tried to hold on to it, find it and keep it.

It’s gone and I just don’t know what to do. I’m afraid. I’m afraid to leave. Afraid to do what I KNOW I have to do.

I gave everything and now I am left with nothing. I am left off worse than I was before.

Only the wall’s of this house knows how I feel. Always listening but never answering back…..just like you.

On to new thing’s.

I haven’t been posting much about ffxi anymore because well I quit. Yes, this time I’m done. It’s come to my attention that the game is taking too much away from my real life. I loved the game and the friend’s I have made but it just wasn’t worth the trouble I had. My daughter is no longer a baby but now heading into her toddler year’s. I can no longer split my time between her and ffxi. That game was really draining between 2-3 hr parties and dealing with my duties as a mom I couldn’t handle it anymore. I’m not giving up MMO’s just this particular one. I’m taking a breather because this particular game really consumes a lot of your time. It isn’t a game where you can play half assed, you really need to focus on playing it.

I was browsing around on a MMO finder website and came across some game called Rohan II. It’s an MMO but there are two great thing’s about it.

• It’s FREE.

• I can play whenever I want, half assed too (￣▽￣)ノ.

So, yeah I play it when my husband is off from work and currently enjoying just playing with him. I’m done worrying about how I’m doing  in parties. I’m done with 3 HOUR parties. I’m just enjoying the time I have before my daughter is off to school next year.

After seeing the preview’s of the movie I just had to get the book. I did the same with the movie Twilight. I got it today and I can’t wait to start reading it （*´ー`)

2 month’s till I have to deal with this again :(

So, I went to jury duty today and was able to be excused….for 2 more month’s. It’s all my fault because I didn’t know I could bring my daughter’s birth certificate the same day I had to come. So the lady told me that the next time I get summoned to make a copy of her birth certificate and mail it out so I don’t have to go. I don’t know we’ll see in two month’s time.

Lunch!! I ended up eating all of the vegetable and rice. The meat was good but not so healthy so I left some over.

My daughter take’s the funniest picture’s.

They have found me.

Two word’s = JURY DUTY.

Sims 3.

Sims 3!  Thank you Lao gong.

I’ll miss you….

Cherish those you love till the last moment. Most of us don’t get a goodbye. May 6, 2009.

It’s really hot -_-;;;;

Street Fighter IV, Soul Caliber IV and My Japanese Coach.

Three new games to add to my collection. Had fun playing street fighter with my husband repeatedly killing each other. I haven’t played street fighter in a really long time and getting it really reminded me of when I used to play it year’s ago.

I’m trying to get used to soul caliber, i can’t jump and i’m used to being able to jump around because i’ve been playing street fighter a lot lol.

The weather is being really freaky. Yesterday was in the 60’s and today is in the upper 80’s. It’s going to be like this until Wednesday in which it will go back to being in the 60’s again.

Global warming is not good =(

Oh and Sakura’s theme song for street fighter iv is awesome!!!

Rank 6

Shadow Lord

Yay finally Rank 6!

So I finally got Rank 6! My husband and I duo’ed and won! I was nervous on my way to the throne room because I didn’t know if we could win. My husband went as 73 ninja and I was on my 75 white mage which if I died I would have leveled down. Surprisingly he was so damn EASY. I could not  believe it.

I’m just happy not to be Rank 5 anymore. It was kind of ironic because we had been playing this game since 2004 so it’s been almost 5 year’s that i’ve been at this rank. Now we are planning to duo the next mission as well. I know that 6-1 we can most definitely solo if we do it correctly.

Hun, I know you can’t wait to do Dynamis so I hope you find a great party to do it with and have a great time ヾ(●⌒∇⌒●)ﾉ

Blahhhh.

So it’s 18 mins after 8 in the morning and i’m WIDE awake. I really can’t seem to sleep through the night anymore, i’ve been up since almost 4am. Trying to go back to sleep only seem’s to irritate me even more. When I try to make myself sleep I become so conscious of my whole body and suddenly i’m not comfortable in bed anymore, it’s almost painful. I’m not looking in to taking sleeping pill’s, I want to find a natural way to get my body’s alarm clock normal again. Right now it’s waking me up at random time’s and I shouldn’t be up at 3am (＝◇＝;)

Now that I have one 75 job i’m finding it hard to focus on the next job I want to level. I jump back and forth from puppet which is sitting at 60, then I go to samurai which is at 31 then I got to black mage which is at 38. Grrrr I really can’t choose which one. Puppet would be the most logical since it is at 60 but….I find it a little too boring (_　_|||)

Yes, I did leave my comment’s open. Maybe the one person who read’s this will actually comment (＞0＜)