This trailer really pulled at my heartstring’s.

I really don’t like any types of zombie game’s (too scared to play em.) but this one has got me interested enough to check up on it now and then.

It’s amazing how people can be so blind. No matter how much you hint at wanting some attention it fails to be noticed. Now that I am married I truly understand why so many marriages fail. The most important component in a marriage is communication. My marriage is far from perfect and this is one of the reason’s why. If you have a work schedule that is demanding and you know you are not going to be able to set aside some time to be with your loved ones, shouldn’t you try a little harder? Even if it’s only 15-30mins?

So many marriages end because a woman/man can feel abandoned and unloved. As if work comes first and home second. I’m not insinuating that work isn’t important (because it is.) but some men/women really don’t feel as if they are doing anything wrong. If you even try to point out that you would like to spend some time together as a family a little more often they might feel as if you have no right to be telling them to do with the little time they have off from work. First thing they might say is “this is my time off, time to relax and just do what I want for a change.” or “i’m sorry honey but i’m beat, i’m gonna catch up on the sleep I miss from working such long hour’s.”

In the end they might even end up making you feel like a horrible person for even asking to spend a little time with them.

I want to be as free as a bird.

If only the screen was bigger and the mouse pad didn’t have issues!!! It’s still nice to look at.

I find it horribly depressing that I spend half of my time at home by myself looking at clothing that could possibly never look good on me i.e (fit me or even look nice on me). Being married to a man of Asian descent it’s hard to have any type of confidence in my look’s. Looking back to when I was young I never saw myself marrying or even dating someone who was Asian. I grew up with the stereotype that the man had to be bigger than the woman. Whenever I saw cartoon’s or movies the woman was always slimmer, petite and the man was always stronger, bigger.

I spend a lot of my time looking at clothing that is distributed by Asian distributor’s trying to find clothing that could possible fit my frame. In my mind if I dress like that then my husband will find me attractive.

The other day I was looking at a youtube video of how to fix your hair up and my daughter was with me. I noticed that my daughter was watching intently and moving her hair mimicking the woman in the video. In the end of the video my daughter looked up at me with a smile and said “mommy look at my hair, look at me I’m just like her.” It broke my heart a little to know that one day when my daughter is my age she won’t be able to look at me and compare herself to me when I look nothing like her. I have no doubt in my mind when she is an adult she won’t have weight issues either like I do. It just hurt’s to know that in the end I am the odd man out.

The funny thing is I have dated other Asian men and I have never felt this depressed with my look’s. With my ex-boyfriend’s I always felt attractive and never felt jealous going out with them or with them even passing a glance at another woman. I could go on a date anywhere and always feel confident that my boyfriend had eye’s for me and at the end of the day he will still love me for they way I am. On the other hand they didn’t hurt me the way my husband did and that is what will alway’s keep my self confidence from ever coming out.

I can’t feel confident around him because of our past and that is always going to haunt me. I will never be able to go anywhere with my husband and feel comfortable or even trust him. I am always going to be the person who would rather stay home on the weekend then go out with friend’s or alone with my husband.

The sun is going down and it’s only 5:40pm

Always have faith yourself. Miracles can happen when you hold onto your dreams.
- Huang Jianming

My heart fill’s up with so much respect when I watch this.

Japanese really love robot’s…

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

Confucius

Chicken stir fry w/ black pepper sauce.

This was my dinner tonight. I am so stuffed
It was really good, I thought it would be more bitter but it wasn’t.